7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are

Accepting yourself and your situation in life can be a difficult task. Do you tend to be more accepting of others’ mistakes than your own? If so, you’re being too hard on yourself!

Those people aren’t better than you! You were created with a unique set of talents that no one else has. Plus, everyone makes mistakes. We’re only human!

Becoming more accepting of yourself and loving yourself for the fine person that you really are can lead you to greater happiness and a more fulfilling life.


Here are some excellent techniques you can use to help you better accept yourself:


1. Focus on your positive qualities. Even though self-improvement is a good thing, it’s important that you identify and focus on your positive qualities, rather than concentrating on the qualities you feel negatively about.

  • Maintaining this positive focus will not only help you better accept yourself, but it’ll also make it easier for you to attain your goals by utilizing your talents to boost yourself forward.


2. Consciously prevent negative thinking patterns. Negative thinking can really snowball fast if you don’t get ahead of it. It’s okay to be in a bad mood every once in awhile and have some negative thoughts; it happens to everyone. The trick is in learning how to push those negative thoughts aside and replace them with something positive.

  • Replace your negative thoughts about yourself with affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that affirm your positive qualities and help bring out the best in you. You can find affirmations in bookstores and on websites, or you can write your own. You can also download some positive affirmations and self-reflections on my site:
    – I Am The Body In Motion That Stays in Motion
    – Giving To Others Makes Me Rich
  • If you believe in yourself, you can do it. It’s really that simple.


3. Accept your imperfections. Another part of being human is having some imperfections. Instead of dwelling on the things you can’t change, accept them for what they are. Making the best of your life starts with accepting your imperfections.


4. Use positive self-talk. Positive self-talk can help you achieve great things and change the way you think about yourself. Make it a point to give sincere compliments to yourself.

  • Compliment yourself for the good things about your looks, your positive qualities, and every time you do something right. Do this each and every day until it becomes a habit.
  • Recommended reading: “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter


5. Disregard what other people might think about your decisions. You’ll never make everyone else happy. If you try, you’ll soon discover that, not only will other people still be unhappy, but you’ll also be exhausted and unhappy yourself.

  • Make your own decisions according to your priorities and be confident that you’ve done what is right for you.


6. Avoid worrying. Worrying will never help your situation. Rather than wasting your time by being engulfed in fear, take action to do what you can to make the situation better. If there’s nothing you can do to change it, focus on moving forward in other ways.


7. Try your best and accept that you’ve done what you could. Do your best every day and be proud of yourself for your efforts. Let go of any negative thoughts, such as being angry with yourself for not being able to accomplish an impossible feat.

  • Even when you haven’t done your best, find a way to forgive yourself. Move on and commit to trying harder next time.


In changing the way you think about yourself, you’ll also change the way you see the world. Every day opens up new opportunities for you, and by utilizing positive thinking, you can make a real difference!




  1. George Shears

    Excellent post, Tara! I agree that unconditional self-acceptance is a crucially important condition for success, health, and generalized well-being.

    During my 35-year career as a psychotherapist, I became a bit notorious for endlessly responding to my clients’ litany of self-criticism and “failures,” with the simple words, “of course.” I then offered them the equally simple argument that, given all of the vast complex of previous causes and conditions in their lives and the outside world, there was absolutely no way for them to be different than how they were or to have behaved in some other way than they did.

    As I see it, we fall into the grievous error of self- (and other) “blame” out of basic ignorance. That is, we do not recognize the basic fact that we are all none other than “Great Nature” unfolding in a very natural, lawful way. To believe that any of us can be different from how we are at this point in time is tantamount to believing that ANY part of nature should or can be different from how it is.

    Unconditional acceptance, then, whether of oneself or others, is a form of basic wisdom and sanity. An incredible amount of needless suffering is generated through the expectations and demands of our “little minds” that we be different than we are.

    One of my favorite aphorisms, which I strongly encouraged my clients to adopt, is: “As I accept myself, I change.

    With best wishes,

    • Tara

      Hi George,
      Thanks for posting your detailed thoughts 🙂 Loved what you had to say…. and yes, by embracing and loving ourselves for who we are, it brings untold happiness. Have an awesome day 🙂
      ~ Tara

  2. create change in your life

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  3. Devon

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  4. Graham

    “Make your own decisions according to your priorities and be confident that you’ve done what is right for you”

    You say this in your post but give no instructions (hints/tips/whatever) on how to accomplish being “confident that you’ve done what is right for you.” In 44 years of living I’ve managed 35 or so with an almost unblemished record of NEVER doing what is right for me…. even when I thought it was at the time it turned out to be the worst – or else nearly the worst – of all possible choices.

    Given that fact, just exactly how am I to have any confidence in decisions regarding myself?

    • Tara

      Hi Graham 🙂

      Our decision-making process is different from one person to another – what may work for one, may not for another. Some folks prefer an elaborate process; others a simple process.

      I’m a strong believer in listening to your own inner voice – your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, then don’t ignore it. It’s telling you something for a reason.

      Other decision-making tools may involve things like: a simple pros and cons list; a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats); mind mapping (a bit like brainstorming); a visualisation board (great for folks who like imagery and prefer to make decisions in pictures); meditation and reflections; writing a story (with no judgements) that imagines you already having made the decision and living out whatever it is you have decided upon – this can actually be quite powerful – then reading the story to pick up on any negative aspects you have witnessed whilst living your decision; and lastly, Paraliminal CDs by Paul Scheele. You’ll find most of these topics touched upon in my blog. And I’m sure there are many more unique tools that I haven’t mentioned and of which people use successfully. A terrific website that may help you out with decision-making tools is: http://www.businessballs.com

      Of course, no matter how well laid our plans or decisions are, there are events and circumstances outside of our control that can turn them upside down. When that happens, I ask myself: “Did I attract that event or circumstance into my life, or was it really something that I had absolutely no control over?” It’s a good question to ask. Sometimes the answer can be a mingling of the two. A lot of the time it will be the former. And on the odd occasion it will be the latter.

      To answer your question: “how am I to have any confidence in decisions regarding myself?” … That’s a good couple of coaching sessions just in itself and not something that can be briefly answered. No one answer fits all and my guidance would differ dependable on one’s background, your personality, your circumstances, and other factors. However, aside from the advice given in the article, here are some of my tips: stick to a decision-making process that sits well with you and that you are comfortable with – even if your process involves a few different tools; listen to your inner voice; recognise that not all ‘bad’ decisions were ‘bad’ – when we flip the coin, and provided we want to search and reflect long enough, we can find some positive takeaways from the situation that we can apply to our life and learn from – this is never a waste; acknowledge yourself for recognising that a decision wasn’t perhaps the right one (this in itself is an accomplishment! – again, comes back to learning); and if someone hurt you throughout the event following a decision, forgiving them, forgiving yourself, and moving on.

      “Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” ~ Robert H. Schuller


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